^ A caveman (scrubbed up).

Me and my fellow colleagues were debating the other day around the subject of ‘how smelly a caveman could/would have been’. Just think, no soap or showers or anything nice at all to allure young innocents into some bedroom (or bedcave) shenanigans. They must have been right properly smelly c**ts and no mistake. Wiping themselves with heather or maybe just splashing a wee bit of tepid water on themselves. ‘Fresh as a daisy, sorted for the night oot’ they’d be saying to themselves, whilst the dribbles of pungent sweat ran down their faces. All happy as Larry, swaggering off to the forest to do some ’stuff’.

So the question is, when did they get to the point when they said, “right we’re hummin, let’s get a right proper wash and get some smelly pong stuff on so we don’t smell like putrid vomit”?

After some colourful language in the studio the subject was swept under the carpet and nothing more was said (think they got bored). My thought processes came into play in my ‘brian’ and after many other types of thought (mainly revolving around food and drink), I came to the conclusion that they must ALL have been smelling one another and thought he/she’s a right smelly c**t, but been too polite to mention it, thus exacerbating the situation.

So this must have went on for loads of years until someone pipped up with ‘right I can’t stand this anymore - you hum and everyone knows it’.

And after that everyone bought Lynx and stuff.

And they all lived happily ever after, goodnight.

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